The unread, unfinished diary of Alex P Keaton
by SilverskYY
Summary: Alex moves to New York to study at Columbia. There he records every adventure/misadventure he finds himself in. Every person (of significance of course) he meets. It is basicly a window into Alex's mind... My friend and I wrote this, pretty funny, Ch 3!
1. Sunday

**The Diary of Alex P. Keaton**

****

:::SUNDAY:::

**1:00 AM**

Ok, things are good so far, airport hasn't lost my luggage, no one's tried to mug me. I'd say the big city is receiving me with open arms. Ok, now to get home, or my future home, or, I don't know, the place I'll be living. Oh, ok, now it makes sense, no one's tried to mug me because I HAVE NO CASH. Ok, so, there has to be a way I can get home, or to my residence. Maybe there's an ATM somewhere. Or, not... Ha! I have a credit card! Taxis don't take credit cards... But you know who does... the car rental place.

**1:40 AM**

So, I have the car. I'm driving. This isn't as bad as everyone said it would be. Driving in the city is easy! These people are not the ruthless drivers that... Whoa, was that guy like going 100 mph or something! Ok, man with a bat. No, not scared. It's just a kind, friendly,

GUY WITH A BAT COMING RIGHT AT ME!

**1:43 AM**

The man with the bat just wanted to know where the nearest bus stop was. Me? Paranoid?

Nooo... maybe just a little.

**2:22 AM**

Home sweet, what the hell? Who built this crap shack? I, am paying _them_ good money to live here? They should be paying me

**2:23 AM**

I take that back. I have just seen the girl of my dreams.

**2:25 AM**

God, what is this world coming to? You make a _teeny_ comment about a girl's breasts and you get slapped upside the head. Let me describe this little scenario to you:

Me- "Hi" [dashing smile]

Her- "Hi" [ignores me]

Me- "I, uh, just moved here"

Her- "I can see" [looks down at my luggage, my _suitcases_! sicko]

Me- "So, do you live here?"

Her- "Uh, yeah, in 3B. What apartment are you..." [I might have accidentally taken a look at her, -very nice- by the way, chest, or was staring at... details, details]

Her- "I'm up here"

Me- "That's ok, the view from here is just as nice" [hey! I didn't mean to say that, it just came out!]

Her- [slaps me upside the head, as we already established]

Hey, can you really blame me!?!

**2:28 AM**

Took another look at my conversation with the mystery girl, may have been just a little forward.

**2:28.20 AM**

Very forward.

**2:40 AM**

Well, this place really isn't so bad. Once I unpacked of few of my possessions (Reagan poster, computer, books, teddy bear .[who _no one_ will find out about!]...) I began to feel much more at home. So, here I am... all alone... dumdeedum... I'll call Mal! Or not, seeing as she's probably asleep. I'll have a midnight, well, early morning snack. I have no food. so, um, yeah, I'm all alone here, in the city that never sleeps, in a half empty apartment, with no food. Wow, it's really, uh, dark out.

**2:44 AM**

You don't suppose mystery girl would let me stay at her house, just for tonight. Didn't think so.

**2:50 AM**

I'm not scared. I'm just a little nervous. You know, first night in a strange place. A strange place filled with armed robbers... don't forget the kind friendly people.

**2:50.15 AM**

What am I talking about, what kind friendly people!!! Ok, deep breaths Alex. Ok, this may just be my imagination, but I'm pretty sure I heard someone in the living room. There is definitely someone there! I'm just, you know, going to grab this lamp and see who it is...

**2:51 AM**

I almost attacked a cat with a lamp. The thing must have sneaked in through the window.

God, he is a huge cat. I'll just leave him outside my door. I mean, the thing is probably filthy and rabid. I'm getting rid of it.

**2:52 AM**

decided to keep the cat. You know, for company, seeing as I'm all alone and everything.

**2:52.11 AM**

Ok, so he's for protection. I know, it's a cat, but you should see this thing, he is _huge_. I mean like freakish. I figure it should be able to scare something off. But it is strictly a business relationship, he protects me, I feed him, that's it.

**2:54 AM**

I think I'll call him Mr. Whiskers.

**2:55 AM**

Or Captain McCat (McCat for short)

**3:00 AM**

Captain McCat and I are going to go to sleep, but he sleeps _on the floor_.

**3:01 AM**

Ok, ok, he can sleep on the bed.


	2. Monday

:::MONDAY:::

-

**12:02 PM**

So I went downstairs to apologize to Mystery Girl, she just said, "Oh, you again," and slammed the door in my face. Not very hospitable if you ask me, just a typical New Yorker I guess. Then when I came back into my apartment, Captain McCat did this really freaky spazzy thing as I opened the door. It was kind of a mix of shimmying and leaping straight at me. He is really taking his security job way too seriously, I mean, he can take a look at the person before he attacks them, make sure they're not me, then he can feel free. (yes, even the girl scouts! People don't really pay attention to their hidden motives…) I was actually upset with McCat, but we sat down, had a chat, worked it out, it was all very technical really. Well, we're friends again, and it's very nice to have a friend, even if it is a spazzy giant cat.

**1:15 PM.**

Classes start in two days, should I be a little more nervous? Nah, I mean, I'm Alex P. Keaton, no reason to be nervous, I can so do this. But… well… new people and everything. I've still got McCatty, can't forget that.****

**1:50 PM**

Hmmm, maybe McCatty needs a leash or something. Like one of those big chain ones with the metal collar. No, then I'd need to get something to chain it to, that would just be too much money, nope, the poor innocent people who enter here will just have to fend for themselves. I do feel bad for the grocery delivery boy though, poor kid never even saw it coming…

**2:30 PM**

I decided to go out and investigate the neighborhood. It's a bit better in the daylight, there's some really great coffee shops-oh great, now I sound gay. Well, I've had the Mystery Girl on my mind _all day_. She's got these great eyes, kind of exotic, slightly angled and big and bright, with this great turquoise color, like the ocean. I have to have another chance at her.

**4:00 PM**

Oh dear, McCatty has left me. It was actually quite tragic in an amusing way. He accidentally stumbled out the window (just like he stumbled into my living room, tear) landing on the fire escape. Then he did the shimmy spaz thing again, making him fly into the dumpster, he then shot out of that straight at innocent bystanders. I'm almost positive those people will end up in counseling because of the insane rabid cat that attacked them whilst they were walking along happily through the east village. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that therapist bill. So now I really am all alone. And unprotected. I miss McCatty, he was a good friend, kind of scary, but good. Maybe we will meet again. Maybe if I give him a raise for his security service. It's too late now though. I need to go to Mystery Girl for comfort.

**4:30 PM**

I should stop seeing Mystery Girl, she _obviously_ doesn't appreciate me, but she's like a me magnet, which isn't a very bad kind of magnet to be by the way, I mean, you could be a Skippy magnet, poor Mal. I should call her, she probably misses me, what am I saying? Of _course_ she misses me! Well, I'll just pick up this phone and call her and… hmm, this is harder than I thought… why? Because it's Mal, and we don't get along, and she doesn't like me, and, let's face it, she's a moron. But she is my sister. Ok, I'm going to call her, she's my sister and everything.

**4:50 PM**

That was, um, interesting. Andy picked up the phone and decided immediately to tell me his entire day at school, and by the time he went to put Mal on the phone, she had left. Then I asked if Jen was there, and he said yes, so he put her on the phone but she was mad because she was hanging out with her boyfriend or something. That girl is too young to have a boyfriend, next thing you know, Andy is going to be hooking up with the ladies. Oh, bad mental picture, Andrew with Mystery Girl. Yes, well that household has been going downhill ever since I left, can't they see they need me?

**6:23 PM**

It's amazing how much I miss that stupid cat. Really, really amazing, he's a stupid cat, he's a stupid giant cat, who was my friend. Maybe I should go out and look for Captain McCat. He's probably cold, scared, and hungry. Ok, maybe not scared, or cold, but definitely hungry, yes. What's he going to do without his Alex to feed him? Tell me? What?

**6:23.20 PM**

Get very, very cranky, that's what!

**6:23.30 PM**

And that can't be very good for the people of the east village… or the world.

**6:30 PM**

I went downstairs to Mystery Girl's apartment, I decided the whole missing cat angle could win her over. It, um, sort of worked. Her name is Lisa, and that is all I know. That is all. She said something along the lines of "oh, I'm sorry, but I haven't seen your cat [blablabla] my name's Lisa [blablabla] I'll call you if I see him though [slams door]" Lovely.

**8:00 PM**

three problems with McCatty being gone:

-I have no friend

-I have no protection

-Mystery Girl still slams doors (ok, so that has nothing to do with my loss of McCatty, but you know…)

**8:30 PM**

Called Mal again, this time she was home, we had quite a little conversation…

"Hello"

"Mal?"

"Alex? It's you!"

"Yes, Mal, I know who I am"

"[laughs] yeah, well, how've you been, it feels like I haven't talked to you in forever!"

"Well, I've, I've been ok - I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well mystery girl still slams doors, I have to fix that, Captain McCat is nowhere to be seen, and I know no one."

"What are you talking about Alex?"

"I think some one tried to break into my apartment, but McCatty scared them off. Now what am I gonna do?"

"What? Someone tried to break in? wait, who's McCat?"

"Oh, Mal, Malmalmal. I've missed you [sigh], say something else"

"Oohoho, don't you think your going to get another one of those trick questions by me again! _Something else_. Ha!"

"Malmalmal, ha, little innocent Mal."

"Uhuh Alex, just try and covor up the fact that you can't get anything by me anymore!"

"That's right Mal, hmm, I should go."

"Oh, alright, well, call me when you can [I can just see her doing her little, "oh, you" smile] Alex [pause] in the big city [pause, I can just see her smiley thing getting more smiley] Well, I'll be hearing from you, bye"

I think the distance is good for us, we're not "together" people.

**9:00 PM**

"I think I shall turn in early, don't you Captain McCat?"

"Meow [translation: yes Alex, I think you shall]"

"It's very nice to have you here McCatty"

"Meow [translation: yes, it is nice, but if you haven't noticed, Alex, my dear friend, I am out somewhere in the cold because I spazzed out your window. Yes, this is tragic, but please find comfort in Teddy and enjoy the company of Mr. Reagan until I find my way back]"

Sigh, yes, I am very upset, I will drown my sorrows with sleep, and Teddy.


End file.
